Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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