Don't you send me to vm
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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