Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
