Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
