just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
