so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
