First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The beer is more important than you right now.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
