This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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