Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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