the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
