it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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