I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
