WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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