Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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