my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
