He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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