I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
