Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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