we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
