Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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