is your mom at the bar?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize