Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize