im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
