Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
