took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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