was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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