meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
