North Korea, Best Korea!
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
