No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this will be a night to untag.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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