Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
