my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize