My Higher Power is John Stamos
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.