i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?