6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
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Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.