he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.