we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I have vodka in my lungs
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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