You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
