Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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