your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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It's rum buckets o'clock
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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