I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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