We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize