He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
