I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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