Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His nipple licking is glorious
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