There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
