i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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