I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
