In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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