I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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