I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
