Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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