I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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