The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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