remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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