how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
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We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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