Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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