I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
organizing the empties. That sober.
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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