I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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