Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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