Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
