he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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