The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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